Jingle Balls and Mistletoe
by Mistletoe Contest
Summary: Uptight Professor, Edward Cullen will do, anything it takes to save his parents' home. Dressing like Santa and working for his little brother will have to do, but will his favorite student approve?


Title: **Jingle Balls &amp; Mistletoe**

**Summary:** Uptight Professor, Edward Cullen will do, anything it takes to save his parents' home. Dressing like Santa and working for his little brother will have to do, but will his favorite student approve?

**Pairing:** Edward &amp; Bella

**Rating:** M

**Word count:** 9,438

**Jingle Balls &amp; Mistletoe**

**Edward POV**

"Do you like my cock?" I grit out between my teeth as I move inside of her hitting her g-spot.

I'm hitting it from behind; her round ass is bouncing up and down as I slam repeatedly inside her. Her face is hidden from me behind a mass of long dark hair with blonde streaks. My fingers weave through soft tresses pulling her to me.

"Yes! Like that!" She screams out.

"Oh, baby, I know you love my _Horizontal Shift_ inside you!"

Bending down I lick the sweat from her back grinding inside of her. My teeth sink into her pale skin and she turns around to look me in the eye. Deep chocolate meet mine in heated passion.

"Fuck me Professor Cullen, more!" She whispers…

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm goes off and I immediately open my eyes turning towards it to hit the snooze.

The clock reads 6:00am Dec 1, 2014.

Ugh!

The Christmas Season.

Someone tie me up now and make me watch hours of _It's a Wonderful Life_. That's my idea of hell. It's my least favorite time of the year. Christmas always reminds me of how my brother, Carlisle took my presents just because he never wanted me to be happy or to enjoy anything.

He was a mean little prick.

It also reminds me of how my father was never home, because he pulled a double shift at the plant where he worked up until his arthritis finally caught up to him.

In the shower, I replay the dream over and over in my head as my hand wraps around my erection. I can practically feel her body against mine like a _long algorithm_ begging to be solved. Every dream is practically the same, us having sex; she's bent over begging for me to continue while I search inside of her for the answer to my _complex equation_. I can't believe I had another damn dream about her, the girl with the luscious breasts and fuckable ass.

An ass that haunts me.

Damn! It's seven thirty! As a professor, it doesn't look good to be late. I need to let my students know that there is no better subject to learn in the morning than Theory!

Now I'm ready to teach my eight o'clock class; _The Introduction to Game Theory_. It's a math class for Economics majors and minors. I just love waking up and discussing _dominance, backward induction, Nash equilibrium, and evolutionary stability_ to a bunch of eager learners. It's really a fascinating subject, but one that most people just do not understand.

I put on my prescription Ray Bans before I walk out of the house into my black Prius. Just thinking about how much money this car save me on gas makes me smile wider.

Pulling up at the University, I step out of the car dressed in my pleated Dockers and crisp white shirt. I'm an Associate Professor I have to dress the part; once I'm done with my Doctorate I'll be Dr. Edward Cullen, Professor of Mathmatics.

Entering the large classroom, I nod at the students who were brave enough to tackle Theory this early in the morning. Turning to address the class, I walk around the desk and bump directly into one of my students.

Not just any student, but the bane of my existence; the brown eyes and dark brown hair that haunt me every damn night: Isabella Swan or Bella as she insists I call her. Which I've been able to ignore for the past four months since the semester started.

"Miss. Swan, excuse me, I didn't see you." I immediately drop my hands from around her bare waist.

Good Lord, this girl is sin in heels with her little red skirt, candy cane stockings, elf hat and a tight red t-shirt that leaves a sliver of skin showing on her pale, flat stomach. Her C-cup breast press against my chest and I instantly harden from the contact.

Her little hands rest on my shoulders rubbing an invisible spot with fingertips.

"Oh, that's fine Professor Cullen. Have you been working out?" She asks as she gives my bicep a hard squeeze.

"Since you mentioned it, I do have quite a vigorous weightlifting regiment that my cousin Emmett and I have lived by for years." I flex my muscles just to prove my point.

"Well keep up the good work, Professor." She giggles and walks away, her bubble ass causing her short skirt to sway from side to side. She reminds me of a complicated math problem that I just want to solve. Not only that, but her lower body parts remind me of the _Leg of an Isosceles Triangle._

Damn.

Shaking my head and closing my mouth, I face my class getting ready to teach one of the most intriguing subjects to me. Most of the students are slouched over their desk; eyes closed looking as though they're still trying to recover from a weekend of partying.

Well, this will get their attention!

"Game Theory! Today we will discuss _c__ommitment, credibility, asymmetric information, adverse selection,_ and..." Walking to the board, I list them all out. I turn around to find Isabella staring at me, her pen between her teeth her legs cross.

My hard-on that was deflating perks up immediately at her suggestive behavior as her pink little tongue comes out and circles the top of the pen. She looks down at the growing bulge between my legs and raises an eyebrow. I quickly turn around with my back facing the class.

Secretly adjusting myself, because Miss Swan makes my _statistic_ rise with just one look.

Turning to the class careful to avoid eye contact with her, I slap my hands together, "Let's start discussing _commitment_."

**~JB&amp;M~**

After a grueling day, I drive through my parents' middleclass neighborhood in a Chicago suburb. Christmas lights and decoration cover just about every other house. Some of the homes are just disgustingly over decorated with music playing and blown up snowmen and Santa Clauses all over their lawns.

I'd probably enjoy watching a marathon of any Real Housewife show instead of driving through this Christmas explosion. I am armed with our favorite, seafood deep-dish pizza and a six-pack of Miller Light for my dad Ed Sr.

My brother is a year younger than I am and has acted like it every second of our lives. Carlisle Cullen's one main goal in life is to try to be better than me at everything, and he does this every chance he gets.

He owns several businesses, some of which I would not be caught dead in. He has a girlfriend, Esme, who curses like a sailor and dresses like a streetwalker. Every time she opens her mouth, I feel like I need to shower. She and Carlisle seem to work though, so I guess that's all that matters.

I don't like my brother I think he's a few numbers short of a full equation, but I want the best for him. Carlisle hasn't been to seen our parents in months, that's why I make it a habit to visit as much as possible.

Monday nights are for Dad and me ... we watch football. Yes, I like football; it's fascinating how the plays are like complex equations waiting to be solved by the other team. My father was shocked the first time I sat down and watched a game with him. I was so caught up with each play; the distance of each throw and how weather actually affects the game, that is how I became my father's football buddy, and hence our Monday night ritual was born.

I enter my parents' house taking in the familiar smell of Pine Sol and bleach. I pass a pile of mail on the chest in the hallway as I make my way to the living room. My parents sit in the front room in matching armchairs watching Wheel Of Fortune. Their hands are clasped together, and I feel a pang of jealousy on what they have been able to maintain for more than thirty-five years.

"Junior! You're early." My dad says as he looks up at me through cataract riddled eyes as I lean down to give him a hug. "Thank God, you brought beer!" He whispers in my ear.

I then move over to my mother and kiss her gently on the cheek.

"You look thin Junior, are you eating?" My mother says as she pats my hand.

"Yes, Mother I'm eating." Sitting the pizza down on the coffee table, I walk to the kitchen to grab some plates.

Opening the refrigerator, I look around noticing it's empty except for some creamer, bread, lunchmeat and a few other items. Something is wrong.

My father and I sit and watch football and eat our pizza with forks, while my mother sits in her recliner clipping coupons. I glance at her, taking a deep breath wondering why there is no food in the fridge and a pile of bills overflowing in the hallway.

I decide I'm going to get to the bottom of this. As I sit on the oversized, floral sofa, I begin to open each one. There are a number of past due and final notices. The last envelope was from the bank.

There are multiple letters from the bank stating that they are giving my parents until December nineteenth to pay the balance due of a twenty-five thousand dollar loan or the house goes up for auction. I am stunned; it's obvious my parents have not opened any of their mail.

"Mom, Dad have you all seen the letters from the bank?" I ask looking up at both of them.

"No, what are they saying?" My mother asks kindly.

"It says you are twenty-five thousand dollars behind on your mortgage payments and you have until December, Nineteenth to pay or the house will be up for auction." My father sits up and stares at me as if he cannot believe this.

"How is that possible?" My father asks.

"Lord, Where are we going to find that kind of money by the nineteenth?" My mother starts crying.

Dad goes over to her, wrapping her in his arms.

"Junior, we only have about half of that in our savings." My father says to me.

"Don't worry about it, Carlisle and I will handle it. I promise."

**~JB&amp;M~**

I drive from my parents' house in a daze. I can't let them be evicted; where would they go. That place is their life, their home. I could spare about ten thousand from my savings, but I would need to get the other ten from Carlisle and use five from my parents. I have a migraine the size of an Infinite Geometric Series just thinking about asking my brother for money, but they're his parents, too, so what could possibly go wrong…

"No. You're the golden child you handle it."

Carlisle says his blonde hair falling over his eyes. I'm currently standing in his office at his male exotic dance club. Yep, my brother owns strip clubs, male strip clubs. He swears there's an obscene amount of money to be made off of desperate housewives, and judging by how crowded this place is on a Monday, he could be right.

"Don't be selfish Carlisle, where talking about our parents. Do it for them not me."

I run my fingers through my hair in frustration.

Of all the negative things he has ever done to me, this tops them all. To take out his hate for me on our parents is low, even for Carlisle Cullen.

"You know what Ant, I'm feeling generous. I'll give you the money for Mom and Dad, of course. I will." He wraps an arm around my shoulders giving me a devilish smile.

I hate when he calls me Ant. He couldn't say Edward when he was younger so my mother thought to have him call me by my middle name would be easier, but he couldn't pronounce Anthony either.

Hence, Ant was born.

Fire Ant

Killer Ant

Firecrotch Ant

Dorky Ant

Anthole

His blue eyes are sparkling with mischief and it gives me the same feeling I used to get when we were in high school and he would play practical jokes on me with his gang of fellow _Negative Reciprocals_.

"Great! I knew they could depend on you, Carlisle."

"Here's the thing; I will give you the money to save Mom &amp; Dad's house on one condition..."

He spells out his condition, making sure no to leave out one sordid detail.

**~JB&amp;M~**

All I can do is think about Carlisle's damn condition as I speed home to the safety of my house.

Of all the crude things he's ever done to me. This is the lowest!

I zip through the questionable neighborhood not paying attention as I think over what he's offering, I have one day to decide and meet with my cousin Emmett, who basically manages his club.

Closing my eyes briefly to hide my anger. I'm surprised when one of Santa's stupid elves walks in front of my car.

_(a + b)__2__ = a__2__ \+ b__2__ \+ 2ab_

I slam on the brakes, doing the math in my head, missing the angry pedestrian by a few kilometers.

Fucking _Tilted Asymptote_

Really!

"I'm walking here asshole! The elf screams.

She slams both hands on the hood of my car and I cringe at the sound.

My poor Prius!

_y = x __2__ \+ 2x + 5_

I run different equations through my head in order to calm myself down.

My Prius!

"Hey, watch it!" I yell out as she raises her head to glare at me.

"Holy _polynomial Batman_!" I say as my eyes lock onto the angry dark browns of Isabella Swan.

"Professor Cullen?" Isabella walks over to my side of the car allowing me to get a good look at her in the elf costume.

Now here's a reason to like Christmas.

She's wearing those damn candy cane stockings from earlier, and a green velvet dress that comes mid-thigh, giving me a view of her luscious legs. She's wearing a red bubble coat that snugly fits her upper body.

"Miss. Swan, I'm so sorry I didn't see you. Do you need a ride?" My brain to mouth filter must be gone; I should not have a student, especially one who looks like a damn edible elf in my car.

"Oh, I'm actually going home. I live near the university and a ride would be great." She runs to the passenger side of the car and slides in like a _Simple Harmonic Motion_.

My eyes follow the red stripes of her legs, as she gets cozy.

"Thanks Professor Cullen. So what are you doing in this neighborhood?" She raises a perfectly arched eyebrow at me, catching me practically drooling at her outfit.

"No problem, Miss Swan, I was just leaving my brother's place. What are you doing out here dressed like that?" She's clearly posing as a sexy elf.

"I'm working at the mall for the holidays." She removes her hat to free her long brown hair, and I can see the streaks of blonde running through it.

I bet her hair feels like silk and smells like cotton candy.

Damn

Damn

Damn

I wish I could run my hands through it while I plunge into her causing her to scream my name like a damn banchee.

I'm sure her body feels like a _differentiable_, all curvy and smooth that contains no _discontinuities_.

"Professor? Professor Cullen! The light." Isabella yells out and my eyes focus to see that I'm running a red light.

"Shit!" I zoom passed the light seeing the flash from the traffic camera.

"What is wrong with you? You almost killed me two times in one night!" She hits my arm causing me to wince from the pain.

"I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind." Like exploring all your wonderful_ Variables_. "Where exactly do you stay by the University? Are you on campus?"

"God no! I live off campus. I'm pretty much done this semester. I just have to walk across the stage in May."

The smile on her face could light up any Christmas tree.

"That's great. So why are you taking Introduction to _Game Theory? _You don't seem like a _Math or Economics_ major or minor?"

She turns her whole body towards me. Her jacket is now unzipped to show low cut cleavage through the dip in her green velvet dress.

"I am actually a Math and Education double major." My mouth goes slack because she is my perfect woman but a few years younger than me.

"That's wonderful. How old are you Miss Swan?" I ask as I pull up in front of her apartment building.

"I'm twenty-seven. I took a few years off to travel and earn some money." She smiles unbuckling her seatbelt.

"Well, here you are, safe and sound. Have a good night Miss Swan." My eyes follow her zipper up as she prepares for the cold weather.

I never wanted to be an inanimate object so badly in my life as I do when I notice the zipper squeeze her breasts together. I lick my lips and look up just in time to catch her leaning over the console.

"Thank you, Professor, you really saved me tonight." Her minty breath covers my face and I want to inhale her in.

"Good night." Isabella leans in closer to place a kiss on my cheek, but I turn towards her at the same exact moment.

Our lips touch, and for a brief second, we both are frozen in time.

It's official we are _Two Intercept Forms of a Equation of a Line_.

Just Perfect.

Her lips are the best thing I've felt in years, maybe ever, and I've kissed a maiden or two.

My hands move first, picking her up and sitting her on my lap. She straddles me, as our lips never break apart; my hands have found a home on her plush little behind, causing her to moan against my mouth.

She takes my bottom lip into her mouth, sucking on it as if it's her favorite flavor of Jolly Ranchers. Our kisses become frantic and sloppy. Tongues intertwine like a well thought out equation and I feel myself become hard.

_a _ _ b_, _a _=_ b_

I run the equation in my head so that I won't embarrass myself and ejaculate prematurely.

Hey, It's been known to happen.

One of my hands finds it's way into the soft strands of hair, and they feel as good as I had imagined. My lips suck on the delicate skin of her neck as she pulls my hair, grinding her hot lower half into me.

Everything is perfect, at least until her ass hits the horn taking us both out of our lust-filled haze.

"Shit! You're my professor!

Shit!

Shit!

Shit!"

Isabella tries to climb off me, but my hand seems to be glued to her ass. I give it a squeeze, not believing this is actually real.

I feel like an _Equivalence Property of Equality, the reflexive, symmetric, and transitive property that is satisfied by the symbol_ and right now the symbol is definitely her ass.

"Professor Cullen, ummm…I need to go. Do you mind?" She gives her ass a wiggle pulling me out of my stupor.

"Yes, of course … Miss. Swan." I stutter out while my eyes travel across her beautiful face.

She climbs off me, sitting in the passenger seat. "Please call me, Bella."

Bella.

It suits her.

She then exists out of my vehicle and runs into her apartment building.

I sit in my car thinking, the sting on my lips and the bulge in my pants a constant reminder of Isabella Swan.

"_Cube one-third the coefficient of x; add to it the square of one-half the constant equation and whole_." I say the rule to solve _x__3__ \+ mx = n _out loud, trying to deflate my raging erection.

It doesn't work.

My Tuesday was spent in a daze of classes and meetings. I couldn't stop thinking of Miss. Swan. How she felt in my arms, my lips pressed against hers and my hand on her ass. It was like finding heaven on earth and damn if I didn't want to have her in my arms again. She's my student for at least two more weeks, and student-teacher relationships are frowned upon, but damn if I care after what we shared last night.

After classes and my paperwork is completed, I walk into the club to find my cousin Emmett sitting at the bar waiting for me. He smiles broadly when he sees me and walks towards me giving me a bear hug and practically suffocating me to death.

"How the hell did Carlisle talk you into this? Actually, I don't even want to know, but damn is this going to be fun." He says slapping me on the back hard.

"I don't know about fun." I follow Emmett to the dressing room.

"Your little bro has your outfit already picked out for you. I think we should just do a straight, dress rehearsal and work on some key moves."

Emmett holds up what I surmise is an outfit, and I just stare; speechlessly. It's official; I hate my brother as much as I hatted long divisions as a kid. The nerves in my stomach grow until suddenly the tuna sandwich I had for lunch is coming up in the garbage can.

"Shit! Just relax; it's not that bad. If you are throwing up now, I hate to see what you will be like when you're up on stage."

Emmett walks out of the dressing room leaving me alone to put on my costume, or lack of one. Ten minutes later, I come out of the dressing room and stand on the stage in front of Emmett. I feel ridiculous.

Emmett is having a laughing fit in front of me, and personally, who can blame him. I'm dressed in a strangely revealing Santa suit, red suspenders hold up tight, red silk nut huggers, with an exposed ass, and a silk mistletoe covers up my package. To make it worse, the mistletoe is Velcro so I can pull it off to get kisses.

_ax__2__ \+ bx +c = 0_

The equation in my head helps me relaxes. What can I say I love anything math and economics.

I keep telling myself this is for my parents and I'll do anything for them.

Because of that I take the torture that Emmett bestows on me for the next four hours. I begin to shake my ass while gyrating my mistletoe-covered cock to '_Here Comes Santa Clause'_.

It's official.

I'm a male stripper and Friday is my first and only official night.

On Wednesday, I rush to my class desperate to see Bella, but she's not there. I'm disappointed because we really do need to discuss the incident in my car. It was as though we were two perfect numerals adding ourselves together to become the perfect sum.

The rest of my week is filled with meeting Emmett at the club and preparing for my one night only routine. Operation Jingle Balls was on its way and then my parents' home would be saved.

**~JB&amp;M~**

"Ladies! Ladies, do we have a surprise for you tonight!

_ax__3__ \+ bx__2__ +cx + d = 0_

I replay an equation in my head trying to calm the nerves in my stomach.

Emmett's loud voice is heard over the screaming females.

The lights go off and the song comes on.

I stand with my back to the audience.

_x__2__ \+ 2x + 5 = 2x + 2 = -1 = 4_

My exposed tush starts jiggling, causing the women to scream.

I turn around to reveal my oiled chest, and a pair of gold balls hanging around my neck. My cock bulges out of the tight boxers causing the mistletoe to jut out with every move I make.

I try not to focus on the hundreds of women screaming for me to '_take it off'_. I concentrate on the music just as Emmett had said. I grab my gold balls and swing them around while gyrating in some middle-aged woman's face, which was half way on stage.

"You are one sexy Santa! You can climb down my chimney any time! Or I can shimmy up your pole, whatever!" She licks her lips suggestively and I quickly move on.

Women begin to touch me and I must admit the attention is nice, but none of them can compare to Bella Swan. By the end of the song, it's time for the mistletoe to go, and I just rip the Band-Aid off, sort of speaking.

I hold it over my head scanning the room for someone to bestow a kiss upon. I notice a cute girl with her friends and I walk over, shaking my hips and jutting out my cock for emphasis.

The girl looks up at me as I straddle her in the chair and lean over giving her a chaste peck on the lips while holding up the mistletoe. "Merry Christmas." I whisper and she screams hysterically as though I'm some type of superstar.

Once the set is done, I sit in the dressing room not believing what I just went through. The adrenaline is crazy and I'm currently counting my tips, I should've thought of this when struggling to pay for college.

"Bravo! Bravo! I knew you had it in you. You really put your all into that, big brother. Come to my office so we can talk." Carlisle walks out of the dressing room with a smug smile on his face.

I didn't like the look he gave me before he left the dressing room. This was a damn one-time deal, but I have a feeling that Carlisle has something more in mind.

I quickly get dressed, wiping that nasty ass oil off my body, and then make my way to Carlisle's office. When I enter, the room is decorated so over the top, it looks like elves threw up. Esme is there in all her tight, red –leather, Christmas spirit glory, and sitting on Carlisle's lap.

"Edward! You were so fucking wonderful! I couldn't fucking believe that was you up there. Who knew you had such a hot goddamn body under those button downs and Dockers?" Esme runs over to me giving me a hug.

Every curve of her body is revealed as she presses herself against me. I let her go and then step out of the embrace. Her red leather bodysuit is a little too revealing for a tight hug. Esme's beautiful, but she's not my type.

I briefly wonder what Bella would look like in this leather getup, but change my train of thought as I begin to harden.

"Esme, you look well and I see you haven't changed a bit." I smile taking a seat in front of my brother's desk.

"So, do you have the check for Mom and Dad?" I ask trying to hide my annoyance.

"The thing is. I need you to dance a few more nights. One of my guys quit on me at the last minute, and as you can see the ladies love Operation Jingle Balls." Carlisle smiles widely as Esme sits on his lap again.

"Edward, Carlisle is right, you were terrific. Think of all the extra cash you could make for Christmas. Maybe you could finally settle down with a nice girl."

Her smile is sickening and I'm ready to get the hell out of here but not without that check.

"Carlisle are you writing the damn check or not?" I raise my voice sitting up in my chair.

"Don't get upset there Ant. I'm just trying to make sure you get the 'Full Monty' so to speak. I'm thinking two full weeks as well as Christmas Eve, which would be your final show. "

"Damn you Carlisle! I'll find another fucking way to save your parents' home! The same home you grew up in, you heartless bastard." Standing up, I knock the chair down in my rush to get the hell out of there.

"Whoa Ant! You must be really pissed if I got you cursing." He says nudging Esme off his lap.

I walk out of his office.

I can take it out my 401k, anything but deal with his games.

"Ant! Okay, how about two weekends and Christmas Eve?" He calls out.

"How about you go to hell!" I turn around and yell at him.

"Look, I'll write out a check right now. Just give me two Fridays and Christmas Eve? I'm trusting you to keep your part of the bargain."

Carlisle extends his hand out to me and I reluctantly take it.

I'm a nervous mess as I drive away from the club. I know Carlisle is dicking me around but what can I do? I slow up once I get to the mall. I know they have extended holiday hours and I'm wondering if Bella worked tonight.

When I pull up to the bus stop, it's empty but I park my car deciding to give her a few more minutes.

She doesn't disappoint.

She walks out of the mall and crosses the street in the freezing cold. I blow my horn causing her to look up and she quickly runs over to the car and jumps in.

"What are you doing here –" I undo my seatbelt and lean over, taking her by the hair and gently pulling her into me.

My lips find hers and my body instantly relaxes.

Good Three Dimensional Coordinates. I swear the two of us fit perfectly.

"I needed to see you, Baby. To feel you." My lips are demanding as my tongue searches for the answers in her mouth.

"I need you, too. I can't stop thinking about you, Professor." She shivers as my lips travel down her long neck.

"Bella, call me Edward." I kiss back up to her lips giving her a chaste peck.

"Edward." She whispers against my lips and I feel like I'm a part of a perfect _Arithmetic Series_.

Her teeth pull my bottom lip into her mouth as her hands rake through my hair causing me to moan.

"Baby, you're all I've thought about since you walked into my class back in August." I kiss her, invading her mouth with my tongue searching for the answers to the world's most _complicated equation_.

We sit in the car for what seems like hours kissing and caressing each other as if this would be our last time together. Bella pulls away and gives me a gentle smile.

"I can't be that girl who sleeps with her professor. I'm sorry, Edward." She pulls away from me and gets comfortable in her seat.

The ride to her apartment is filled with an uncomfortable silence. Once we reach her building Bella turns to me, "Would you like to come up?"

I nod my head because I couldn't refuse her even if I wanted to.

Once we get there, I notice that her apartment looks as if Christmas came in and exploded.

Great.

There is a small tree in the corner decorated in white lights, Christmas ornaments, candy canes, tinsel, and long strings of popcorn. One lone stocking hangs up over the television as miniature Santas and snowmen cover the room.

"You really love Christmas?" I ask as I take in the entire apartment noticing Christmas decoration all over the place, including her windows that are all covered in wreaths and lights.

"It's my favorite holiday! Cocoa?" She peeps her head out from the kitchen as I sit down on the couch.

"Uh sure." I can't remember the last time I had hot chocolate. It had to be before Carlisle started hating me for everything.

Bella comes into the living room holding two mugs of steaming hot cocoa. She sits down next to me setting them down and then turns to face me.

"I wanted to talk. I'm incredibly attracted to you Edward-"

"Then we have nothing to discuss. There's only a week left in the semester. Once you're done with my class, you will no longer be my student." I take a sip of my cocoa.

Damn, that's good!

My eyes close as the chocolate goodness warms my cold bones. Opening my eyes, I see Bella enjoying her own cup, her eyes are also closed and she moans in appreciation causing me to harden instantly.

My hands reach out and caress her expose knee. The feel of her candy cane stockings are smooth against my fingertips. She opens her eyes locking her gaze on me.

"I'm sure there are a number of women who would love to have a meaningless affair with you..." She sits her cup down leaning over me, making her C-Cups almost fall out of her sexy elf outfit.

She continues.

"But I'm not one of them. I won't fuck you for a good grade on my final or to say I had sex with hot Professor Cullen."

"I'm glad you think I'm hot, but I don't want a meaningless affair with you. If I did, I would've taken you in my car the other day." Sitting my own cup down, I lean over her causing her to fall back onto the couch.

Our breathing increases as our lips lightly touch. My body covers hers completely and my fingers skim up her exposed leg.

"I want you Bella, but I can wait until after you receive your final grade." My lips graze hers, causing her to exhale deeply.

"I won't be a dirty little secret no matter how much I want you. Once I receive my grade and I am no longer your student, if you would like to date me, I would be willing." She leans into me kissing my lips gently.

My fingers trace up the inside of her thighs leading up to her moist center. I can feel it through her stockings. Rubbing her clit, she arches her back moaning against my lips.

"Oh, I think you'll be more than willing." I kiss her gently at first, sliding my tongue into her hot, waiting mouth.

My hand presses against her clit, while she threads her fingers through my hair pulling me closer. Our lips and tongues mesh together like a _long-lost polar equation_. She tastes like Christmas morning and new beginnings and I don't want this to ever end.

She starts grinding against my hand. Her neck falls back against the arm of the sofa, giving me full access. My tongue laps at her exposed skin as my fingers circle her clit.

"Oh Professor!" Her grip on me tightens and her body stiffens.

I whisper in her ear, "_Did you know that Pi is the ratio of the Circumference to the Diameter of a Circle_?

"God yes! More!" She yells out as my hand slips into her stockings entering her wet…

_Holy Decimal point!_

She's nice and snug around my fingers.

"_What does Pi equal_, Miss. Swan?"

I thrust two digits in and out causing her body to shake uncontrollably.

"What is it? Tell me, Baby." I growl out against her neck as I bite her sensitive skin.

Her pussy clinches around my fingers as her orgasm hits her, "_Pi equals 3.14159_!"

"Good girl." I tell her as she yanks my head up so that our lips can meet.

She kisses me sloppily, biting and nipping at my lips. Our kisses slow to just pecks. Sitting up, I bring her with me pulling her onto my lap.

Her head rest in the crook of my neck as I rub her back. "I have some personal things to deal with. I plan to be done after Christmas Eve and hopefully, you will have your grades. Would you be my date to my parents' house on Christmas day?"

She sits up gazing up at me. "I'd love too, Edward."

We kiss and spend the rest of the night in each other's arms talking and getting to know each other. I learn that she lost her father a few years ago and she has an estranged relationship with her mother. I tell her all about Carlisle and my parents. I only give her half the story, telling her that I'm working for my brother to help them, but I purposely leave out the little tidbit that he's blackmailing me to be a male stripper.

I feel light and happy when I leave her apartment at three o'clock in the morning. We exchange phone numbers with promises of text and calls until we can be together again.

After all these years of dating and the occasional dead-end relationship, I've finally found my _common denominator_.

The following Monday I had a glimpse of Bella, and after class I gave her a not so chaste kiss, after which I locked the classroom door and proceeded to thoroughly explore her.

My mind was focused on saving the house, so I finished my workday and hurried to pick up Mom and Dad so we could go to the bank.

Once the checks were presented and the papers were signed, I let out a breath I never knew I was holding. I would have to monitor my parents more carefully than I had been doing. Now I just had three more shows to do for Carlisle and I was done.

Before I know it, time flies by and I've spent my week texting Bella. She really is taking this _no relationship until after the semester ends _seriously. I'm also practicing with Emmett, who seems to love teaching me every male stripper secret in the book.

Carlisle, the fucking evil _numeral_ he is, gave me two shows on the nights I performed.

I've picked up some impressive moves and I'm finding I don't hate Christmas thanks to Bella. She brings me cocoa every morning we have class and emails me Christmas videos. Having someone to share the holidays with makes them more enjoyable.

"Back by popular demand! Santa and his jingle balls!'

_y = mx + b_

_y_ – _y_1 = _m_(_x_ – _x_1)

_Ax + By = C_

_In all forms, slope is represented by m, the x-intercept by a, and the y-intercept by b._

Math calms me down _'I Caught Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'_ comes on and it's a disgustingly slow song, but my slow grinds around the stage drive all the women wild. I end every dance removing the mistletoe from my crotch to give some horny damsel a chaste kiss.

By the time the 19th comes around I feel like an expert. I have one more set today and one set Christmas Eve.

After that, I plan to finish, and then rush to be with Bella and live happily ever after.

Bella is the last student to finish her final in my class, but I have a feeling she was done before everyone else. She stands and sways her hips, the jeans she is wearing hugging her perfectly, causing my mouth to water.

Bella places her paper on my desk as I lock the door from prying eyes.

It's official.

She's not my student, but I still have to submit her final grade. She has maintained a 'B' average all semester and her final, will either propel her to an 'A' or keep her at 'B+' status. The facts are the facts and I'm not one to have my judgment clouded by lust or lack of.

She sits her perfect ass on my desk and I stalk over to her without saying a word. My hands slide to her ass pulling her to me as I cover her mouth with mine. Our tongues glide together as I grind my cock against her. I want her so damn bad I'm tempted just to take her right here and now.

School be damned.

Lips nip and pull at the soft tissue of her earlobe while she unzips my pants slipping her small hand down my boxer briefs. Her fingers close around my length and I almost blow my load in her hands.

_y_ – _y_1 = _m_(_x_ – _x_1),

Bella pushes me against the whiteboard, effectively slipping off the desk and down to her knees.

"You make me want to do bad things to you, Professor." She says before she pulls my cock out. Bella licks the pre-cum from my dick with her perfect pink tongue causing me to let out a moan of pleasure. Taking me into her mouth, she hums in contentment.

"That's right baby, suck my _Pythagorean Theorem_."

My fingers weave through her hair as she bobs on my cock. Her mouth feels like heaven; warm, wet and snug. It's been awhile since I've felt something so fucking divine and my orgasm hits me hard and out of nowhere and I scream the first thing that comes to my mind;

"_Alpha, Beta, Gama, Delta, Epsilon, Zeta, Eta_." The damn _Greek Alphabet_ spills out of me like my seed going down Bella's throat.

Swallowing every last drop, she looks up at me with a twinkle in her eyes. She gives my cock one last lick before she tucks me back inside of my pants. I pull her up off her knees kissing her passionately.

"Did you really, just scream out the _Greek Alphabet_?" She asks quirking her eyebrow at me.

I instantly feel like the dork I was in high school but Bella shocks me when she starts pecking my lips, "_Theta, Iota, Kappa, Lambda, Mu_." She whispers against my lips.

"I want you, Bella."

I mumble against her mouth as I become surprisingly hard again. She gives me a playful little smirk.

"Soon."

"Tonight?" I try my luck.

"Maybe, I'm going out with the girls, but I'll text you when I'm home."

With those last words, she picks up her bag and leaves the classroom. The rest of my finals are nowhere near as fulfilling, but I make it through them with my mind on Bella.

Once I get to the club Carlisle comes into the dressing room before my set. I'm ready to do this one and cancel Christmas Eve; maybe I can do this one and call us even. I just want to start my life with Bella. Carlisle is wearing a smug look on his face, but I think that's how he looks all the time and I just never noticed.

"Big brother, it's good to see that you're a man of your word." He says as he flings one of the balls around my neck.

"Is there a reason for this visit?" I really have no time for his damn games. I'm doing my part; that should be good enough.

"Just break a leg." He gives a sinister smile and then leaves the dressing room.

I'm not going to let Carlisle mess with my head. I'm doing this set and then go to Bella's; hopefully to finish what we started earlier in the classroom.

The lights are dim as I face away from the crowd.

_x__2__ \+ 2x + 5 = 2x + 2 = -1 = 4_

Air hits my expose buttocks and back causing a shiver to run through me.

x + y = 4, 2x + 4y + 12

Something feels different, but I can't put my fingers on it. The lights come up and I jiggle my ass and the screams are through the roof. I've become a bit of a big deal to some of the women that visit this place.

_x_5 – _x_3 + _x_, _y_5 + _y_4_ \+ y_3 + _y_2_ \+ y_ \+ 1

"Santa is Back, by popular demand! His last show will be Christmas Eve ladies, and you don't want to miss Santa and his Jingle balls!' Emmett's voice rings through the building as '_Ass and Titties'_ comes on, which is totally inappropriate because I don't have titties, but this is Carlisle's form of torture so I take it.

**BELLA POV**

This strip club is filled to the max and every woman is talking about some Santa Claus dancer and his Jingle Balls. Talk about fucking pathetic! I'm only here because Rose and Alice want to celebrate the end of the semester, but what I really would like to be doing is Edward. I know what I said about waiting and not being that girl who does her professor, but damn it all when I saw him in all

his nerdy glory. White button down shirt, khaki Dockers, shiny Bostonians with those fuck-hot glasses.

All bets were off.

Not to mention the fact that when my hands wrapped around his cock, it was as though we fit perfectly, I can only imagine what it's going to feel like to have him inside of me. Then he started saying the fucking Greek Alphabet and I was a goner. My girly parts are feeling all tingly and it has nothing to do with the Firefighter currently gyrating on stage.

I take out my phone sending him a text_:_

'_**I want you tonight. Can't wait.'**_

I wait for his reply while the girls go crazy as the long anticipated star act takes his place. Santa Claus shakes his exposed ass causing the crowd to go wild. What sort of man would shake his ass for money?

It's definitely a sight to behold, I must admit; I find myself wanting to slap it and then bite it. I push thoughts of the barely dressed stripper from my mind because Professor Edward Cullen is it for me. Strange that I know it, but I do. I've been fighting our attraction since the beginning of the semester; he's so damn hot and I'm at the end of my very thin rope.

I start shaking to the song and laughing my ass off.

What dude would dance to '_Ass and Titties'_? The semi-hot-but-not-Edward stripper turns around and steps into the light shaking his jingle balls and mistletoe-covered cock all over the stage. My mouth drops open as Edward shakes what his momma gave him, and God bless her, around the stage for every woman to see.

My initial reaction is lust, but once that passes I'm pissed the fuck off. How dare he lie to me and say he's working for his brother the entire time he's working as a male stripper for whatever damn reason!

I stand up before I even know what I'm doing. I walk over to the stage where he is currently on his knees grinding his cock up in the air while he holds the mistletoe out practically begging someone to come and kiss him or his cock.

I'm not fucking sure which one.

"Looks, like someone wants a kiss under the mistletoe, Santa." The muscle bound MC screams out from the DJ booth.

Edward's eyes lock on mine, and everything seems to stop as horror takes over his face. He drops the mistletoe and tries to reach out for me.

"Baby, I can explain." He says as I turn and rush toward Rose and Alice.

"Fuck you!" Without saying a word, my girls rise and follow me out of the club. Suddenly, I'm stopped by an almost-naked Edward, who is standing outside in the dead of a Chicago winter.

"Bella, please just listen to me." He practically begs as I snatch my arm away and stand staring at him.

"Explain."

I wait for his explanation, which had better be life or fucking death. However, a tall blonde guy who looks like he won the asshole lottery cuts him short.

"Ant, do we have a problem. You have a set to finish."

_Who the fuck is Ant?_

"Ant? Edward, who the hell are you!" Before he can answer I turn around and rush to the car with Rose and Alice.

I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet. The girls try to get answers out of me but I just don't have the energy to try explaining how stupid I really am.

I spend the rest of the night alone and ignoring Edward's text and phone calls. At around one in the morning, there are persistent knocks on my door.

I open the door for him giving him my best bitch face. He's going to wake up my fucking neighbors if he keeps up this bullshit up.

"I don't have anything to say to you, leave me alone, _Professor_." I attempt to close the door on him, but he stops it with his arm.

"Please, let me explain. I didn't have a choice. The guy you saw is my brother, Carlisle, he owns the club. The idea of torturing me gets him off, Baby, let me in and I'll explain."

Edward looks really pathetic, and part of me, the part that has been aching for him, wants to let him in, but then I think of how he looked up there like a kid in a candy store…

"You didn't look tortured to me, now please leave before I embarrass us both and call campus security. I'm sure that would not look good for you, _Professor_."

Edward takes a step back allowing me to close the door in his face; officially ending whatever it was that we had.

I spent the following week in bed, depressed, thinking about Edward. He really did look heartbroken. By the time Christmas Eve comes around I replay everything over in my head. He said he was working for his brother in order to save his mother and father's house, but he never mentioned what exactly he was doing for said brother.

Could Edward's brother have forced him to dance?

What sort of sick ass would do that to his own flesh and blood to save his own parents' house?

Without thinking, I get dressed and call myself a cab. I need answers. Edward made me feel alive; he made me look forward to an eight in the morning, boring-ass class. He made my body feel electric. I can't just dismiss us. Now that the initial shock of him stripping is over, I have to know the truth.

Once at the club it's already full to the brim with over-eager women dying to get one last look at Santa Claus and his jingle balls and mistletoe. Finding Edward's brother is easy because he stands at the bar with a trashy looking woman draped around him.

"Carlisle? Right?" Carlisle turns to face me with a smug look on his face.

"If it isn't Ant's biggest fan. Come to see the finale?" His eyes roam my body making me feel sick to my damn stomach. What a fucking douchebag.

"Just answer one question for me, asshole. Are you forcing Edward to dance in order for you to help save your parents' home? Surely, you can't be that heartless." I stand with my hands on my hips getting tired of this trash by the second.

"Since you don't know me or Ant for that matter, I'm going to enlighten you. Edward has always been the favorite child, and I for one can't stand it. So yes, I'm knocking big brother down a notch.'

His arm-candy stands in front of me, "It's all in good fun, Sweetie. Carlisle was going to give him the money either way, he just wanted him to work for it per say. You should be thanking Carlisle, Edward has really opened up."

"You two are fucking sick bastards." I storm off, making my way to the front of the stage and taking an empty seat. Most of these women are standing, waiting with anticipation.

Talk about desperate!

Santa's going home with me, bitches!

I've been so stupid and stubborn. Of course, Edward wouldn't purposely dance for money. The lights dim and Santa takes his place on the stage.

That cute little ass of his on display for all to see.

The women go wild.

"Ladies! Ladies, for the last and final time… Santa Claus and his jingle balls!"

The muscled MC screams out and the crowd goes wild.

Mariah Carey featuring Justin Bieber's version of, '_All I Want for Christmas Is You'_ comes on and Edwards's ass shake until the beat comes in.

They go crazy for him and I'm immediately fucking jealous. Nevertheless, once this is over, he's all mine. These bitches will never see his fine ass and cock again if I can help it. Before I know what's happening, Edward is in front of me straddling my body holding up his Velcro mistletoe.

He leans into me asking with his eyes. I don't say a word as I pull him towards me by holding onto his suspenders bringing his lips to mine. My body relaxes as I enjoy our kiss in this room full of horny women.

I can hear them around us yelling in jealousy as my man thoroughly kisses me in front of everyone. My hands find his bare ass and I give it a little squeeze while his teeth pulls at my bottom lip.

"Looks like Santa found Mrs. Claus! Sorry ladies."

The MC informs the crowd.

**~JB&amp;M~**

"Right there. To the left, perfect! I scream out as Edward adjusts the star on his newly purchased Christmas tree.

This damn place really needed some Christmas spirit. I insisted that we go back out and buy a tree and decorations.

It's almost one in the morning and we are still up decorating and enjoying each other's company. I even made us some cocoa, which he seems to love.

"Perfect!" Edward walks over and wraps his arms around me.

"Merry Christmas, Baby." He says as he kisses my neck.

"Merry Christmas, Professor." I turn in his arms, kissing his lips passionately.

"I'm not your professor anymore; Baby, but you can still call me that in bed." He picks me up by my ass and carries me into his bedroom.

**EDWARD POV**

"Oh God! Professor!" She screams as I pound into her pussy from behind.

She is currently bent over the foot of my bed, at a _ninety-degree_ _angle_ taking my cock like a pro. This is better than any dream I've ever had about us. I slap her ass for good measure.

"You like that don't you, Baby?" I bend down kissing her shoulder as I grind inside of her.

"Yes! Professor!" She turns around to stare me in the eye.

She feels divine.

Christmas is my new favorite holiday all because of this perfect woman currently moaning as I fuck her in my bed.

"So good Professor! So fucking good! Don't stop!" I grab her, gently pulling her up and down on my dick.

"Damn Bella, I've been dreaming about this all semester, Baby. Being buried in you, having you call out my name. Holy _Circumference_!" Bella reaches back and starts playing with my balls.

This woman drives me crazy.

I pull out of her and she turns around with a pout on her lips. Climbing on the bed, I lay flat on her lifting one of her legs up, causing me to slip inside of her.

"Don't worry, I'm not done with you." I murmur as I begin thrusting hard.

Bella reaches for something on the bed and then holds it up. It's the mistletoe from my stripping outfit.

"Kiss me, Santa! Oh, I'm going to come!" I lean down kissing her as I rub her clit bringing her to climax.

"That's right Baby! Come for Santa!" I say as Bella's body shakes under me.

My orgasm approaches as I pound into her, "_What's a Quintic Polynomial_?"

"Oh Fuck! " She screams.

"Answer me, Miss. Swan!"

Her pussy clenches around my cock, the woman loves when I talk math.

I'm in love, no question about it.

'_It's a polynomial of degree five_!" Another orgasm shakes her body as I come with her, my orgasm hits me like a sack of presents.

My body goes limp on top of her.

"Best fucking Christmas Ever!" I roll off of her pulling her to me.

"Professor, did you just curse?" Bella climbs on top of me; the woman is an animal.

"Baby, I need a break. We've been at it all night and all morning." Bella kisses down my chest holding the mistletoe in her hands.

"You just relax professor and hold this up." Bella passes me the mistletoe as she kisses my cock.

Holy _long division_ Batman.

Merry Christmas indeed.

**~JB&amp;M~**

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